taken from acchikocchi et al

[soundczechfic]

The year end writing meme. I don't usually do this kind of thing but I had a lot of feelings about my writing this year and I think I should probably document that so I can go back and look at it next time I am having some kind of meltdown and have convinced myself I can never write again.



the list:

January: Drabble Meme
February: Your New Best Friend
April: Behind The Music
July: Legends
September: Under My Umbrella
October: Baby Got Back
November/December: fic for jent_bigbang


Total wordcount: 78,180 if I include what I wrote for jent_bigbang. Otherwise, 41,180. Even that's a pretty huge number by my standards, I just stared at it after calculating it. It's weird because I feel like I barely wrote at all this year, until November.

My favorite story of this year: Hmm. Probably Under My Umbrella or the fic I'm working on at the moment. What a boring answer for a meme.

My best story this year: This is kind of a bad year to ask me that, because I spent a lot of time feeling really dissatisfied with my work. Probably Under My Umbrella, because it was so short that it didn't really have time to corrupt itself in my eyes, lol. I was satisfied with parts of Behind The Music, but then I had to rush through the ending and it kind of hurt the final product.

Story most underappreciated by the universe: I don't really feel that way about any of my stuff, ever, because my flist is so generous with its praise. I don't really have a malnourished little orphan. I have a few fat, bloated problem children, lol.

Most fun story: Your New Best Friend. Or Under My Umbrella. Wow, for a throwaway 650 word fic, Under My Umbrella is really cleaning up here...

Hardest story to write: God, Baby Got Back x 3234359082345809832450982340958239048. Easily the most difficult thing I've ever written in my life. More difficult than killing off Kame in Seachange. It's probably lucky that I'd already signed up for jent_bigbang, because there was a long moment after I finished Baby Got Back in which I honestly felt like I would never write again, because it so totally obliterated my confidence in myself as a writer. There were a lot of factors. It was a difficult subject for me, because my own ideological beliefs were sometimes in direct opposition to how I felt the characters would behave. Also because the final verdict about Jin's place in KAT-TUN was made while I was writing it and it was hard to write him in that way when I was still all angry and depressed about the whole thing.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: Hmm. My perceptions of the characters have gone on kind of a rollercoaster this year, but I think that is more to do with reality than any one story or another. Legends, I suppose, because it was the medium I used to work through my issues with Jin after he left. It kind of helped to think about things from his perspective.

Biggest disappointment: God, Baby Got Back, again. A lot of the time when a piece is really difficult it's okay in the end because you look at it and feel like you've achieved something, but I didn't really feel that way with Baby Got Back. I didn't quite feel like I got where I wanted to go. I don't know if it is in me to be that serious and, idk, ideological in my writing. I spoke to Sam after she read it and she was like, I could tell just from reading it that you really hated writing it. I was really happy that other people enjoyed it because every time I look at it all I can see is my stress over it. I cried the night I posted it, lol #embarrassingconfessions. I am not usually much of a crier. It's weird because the whole point of fic for me is that it's supposed to be fun. I usually write the sort of fic that I want to read, aka cheesy sentimentalism. I don't want to write things that aren't fun for me.

Biggest surprise: My big bang fic getting as long and involved as it has. And like, sort of enjoying myself as I wrote it and feeling satisfied with parts of it, even if I'm not sure I'm satisfied with the entirety of it yet (I'm still working on it).

Most unintentionally telling story: Again, Baby Got Back. I was feeling kind of messed up about gender politics because of some stuff that went on at work for me early this year, and it really came out in the fic even though it should have just been this cheesy fic about Jin groping Kame's boobs.

Sexiest story: LOL, I don't really write what I would call sexy stories. I guess Baby Got Back in that it had really gross soft porn moments.

Something I realized while filling out this meme: That I wrote a lot more than I thought I did this year. And that it doesn't matter if I write something I don't like, it doesn't mean I'm dead inside and can never write again, or something. So harden the fuck up, fitz.

Comments

[samenashi.livejournal.com]

fagit

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

faget

[ayuzak.livejournal.com]

Baby got back was really fun for me (and others), so stop stressing about it. It's done and over with.

Need to read behind the music

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

i'm glad it was fun for others, that makes it somewhat worth it alsfkdjgf i'm not really dwelling on it as much as this meme makes it seem, i'm mostly just documenting it in case i suffer another attack of the NEVER GONNA WRITE AGAINs, so i can come back and look at this and remind myself not to be a drama queen

eh, don't bother... it's really long and not much happens, lol. i doubt you'd be into it. there's no josh.

[katmillia.livejournal.com]

Your New Best Friend maintains its status as my favorite fic ever. Of all time. (OF ALL TIME) ♥

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

<3 <3 <3 <3 that makes me really happy alskjfdgh why is torturing jin so entertaining?

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

oh, starla. :( :( :(

*hug*

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

i'm good now!!!!! i just reread this meme and it makes me sound so horribly depressed, lol. but i'm on the other side of the trauma now...

ps i l u

[razberrycreme.livejournal.com]

YOU CAN DO IT FITZ!!! I'm sorry Baby Got Back was so difficult to write...T_T and post...T_T I'm excited there's so much fic I have to read ahead of me :D :D :D :D And you're amazing so I'm sure people loved that fic and you have nothing to worry about. Team Fitz!!!!

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

<3 ganbarimasu

from ur bigest fan

[hilaryscribbles.livejournal.com]

no but really though even the stuff you feel crappy about is awesome

Re: from ur bigest fan

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

god you were a good investment

throws sparkly gifs in the trash, screams

[samenashi.livejournal.com]

i thought you loved me

[scorch66.livejournal.com]

I love how you put so much thought and effort into your writing ♥

I somewhat understand your issue with Baby Got Back but as a reader, I absolutely loved that fic, so thank you so much for posting it even though you were so uncomfortable with. :) And out of all the fics you've written this year, my favourite is Behind the Music (I love fics where character's grow throughout the plot ♥).

Looking forward to your BB fic!

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

thanks <3 posting it was kind of therapeutic, because at least other people seemed to get some enjoyment out of it... which is why i keep writing, really. i know people are supposed to be all I WRITE FOR MY ARTE but i'm more invested in writing for the enjoyment of others aslfkdgjhf i want to make people happy :(

[singlehappiness.livejournal.com]

♥

This is only a tiny fraction of how I feel about all of your fic. I'm sorry to hear it's been a tough year of writing for you and that my actual comment on Baby Got Back was so insubstantial but I loved it beyond words, just so you know. :( I know there was a lot of imposing upon gender inequality but I maintain that you balanced it really well.

You are like, my favorite writer in fandom, Fitz. Forrealz.

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

ilu :( it's been a tough year but it ended kind of well, so that's uplifting? i'm glad you liked the fic, the idea of people having fun while they read my stuff is what makes work worth it to me <3

[misao-duo.livejournal.com]

I feel so bad over the fact that i am commenting on this post , yet i haven't read 'Baby Got Back' yet :( I don't really know why.
I guess at first i was a little (admitedly, very little, because this is you we are talking about) put off by the genderswitch thing (which is not my cup of tea at all), but everyone kept reccing it so i decided i would read. Don't know what is keeping me from it this time. Good thing i will have time to do it this month :)

ANYWAY. Almost 80.000 words of fic. Wow.
That was such a productive year for you, which means it was a fantastic year for us, readers, cause the more fic we get from you the better. I don't even feel ashamed of typing this for i really think you might be the best writer this fandom has. Sorry if declarations like this make you umcomfortable lol.

"I don't want to write things that aren't fun for me."
...sighs :(
me neither. Tho i feel this is not a good thing for me because, hm, it keeps me from trying new things? I don't know. One can't write fluff forever and i would love to learn how to plot one of those days :(

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

omg don't feel bad! it always takes me forever to get around to reading things too, especially if i look at the premise and i'm like, ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i don't really like the idea of kame genderswitch either, which i guess is a huge part of the problem i had with writing it alksdjaksldj.

the productivity i know! with my big bang fic it kind of kills me because it's probably the least involved premise i've ever written, i'm just gratuitously shoving random shit in all over the place. it's the longest thing i've ever written in my life. sam called me a braggart for talking about hitting 50,000 words on twitter and i was just like, this is the only time in my life i will ever write that much, i'm telling everybody.

i don't think that's true, about me being the best writer this fandom has, but it still makes me really happy that you think so <3 thanks <3

i think for me if i'm going to write something really painful and difficult and serious i'd probably prefer that it be original fic. that's not what i'm in fandom for... i'm pretty much here for the pinky rings and chibi flashbacks.

[mcpofife.livejournal.com]

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

i see

[natsukashi-yume.livejournal.com]

This is going to be a very embarrassing comment because I have read almost all your fiction to date and never got up the courage to comment, mostly because it was so amazing that any review I left would be incoherent and wholly inadequate. One day, I shall go back and comment on everything (or so I tell myself). But for now, let me say that "Baby Got Back" was such an amazing and insightful story wrung from a silly premise. In that fic, Kamenashi was so fiercely beautiful, bursting out of the page with his concern over how to dress and relearning how to act in society as a girl. I can understand why it might have been hard to write because it was so multi-faceted and nuanced, but please believe that your efforts were very much appreciated.. <3

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

Thanks <3 I'm glad you enjoyed it <3

[samenashi.livejournal.com]

this post is disgusting

just like you soundczech

getting the compliments from your "fans"

just like a bnf

a fucken b n f

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

turdburglar

[cherprudence.livejournal.com]

I don't really have a malnourished little orphan. I have a few fat, bloated problem children, lol.

HAAA best ever!

you are so awesome ;3;/

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

♥♥♥

[janajanc.livejournal.com]

Posting this meme is my opportunity to tell you how I loved Baby Got Back, the first fic of yours I've read (on Katmillia's recommendation - normally, I'd avoid Kame as a girl :). It was so beautifully written, couldn't forget all those feelings and atmosphere of the story. I wanted more and then I found Seachange. OMG, this really changed my perspective on fanfics and their authors, I'd never imagined there could be stories like Seachange in JE fandom written just for fun! I love everything in it (you even persuaded me to accept the ending), the soundtrack is fantastic, my favourite fic ever. (Now I'm your devoted reader, so blame all my compliments on your great works :)

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

Thanks <3 I'm not sure what it says about me that I wrote Seachange for fun, lolol. Most of the soundtrack can be attributed to samenashi, who basically spammed me with songs designed to make me sob. Anyway, thanks again <3

[(Anonymous)]

looks like u got just wot u prayed for
ur minions worshipping at ur feet like starving dogs
and u r a hunk of meat that they r in love w/
well guess wot u've been sitting in the sun for days
u r full of maggots
maggots of LIES
so keep spreading ur racist LIES
Kamenashi Kazuya is NOT A GIRL
that is A FACT
also he has NO DISEASES
he has not MESSED UP GENDERS OR POLITICS
HE WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
leave him out of ur HATRED OF POLITICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if u want to go to heaven then write more of that pikakame fic where they have powers
if u want to go to HELL then just KEEP ON UR EVIL PATH OF LIES!!!!!!!!!!
i am TRYING TO SAVE UR SOUL FROM HELL so u should THANK ME!!!!!!!
a happy new year!!!

[altricial.livejournal.com]

Oh I do miss your writing. There is a retarded thread going on my Facebook with all my primary school friends doing a big happy reunion thing and me going :|. Anyway, one of them is a poet and linked to her poems and short stories she writes for a living and I thought, well you are really quite shit compared to Fitz and Rach.

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

Sam read this and was like, "tell her she doesn't have to miss your writing anymore, you've got a 60,000 word akakame epic on the way!!!!!"

The idea of making a living off writing is vaguely stressful. I'd be homeless 11 months of the year.

[mnemonic-psych.livejournal.com]

I love you Fitz. Your fics are the best. the best. I just reread half of them rn because you so helpfully linked to them and oh my god, so great. I'm sorry that Baby Got Back was such a challenge for you, especially on a personal level, but for what it's worth, you totally rocked it. Like I just generally, as a rule, hate genderwitch, esp when it comes to Kame. But yours was just so brilliant Idek. It's like, just because Kame had a sex change, doesn't mean he's any less Kame; his character was fundamentally the same. He was still inherently Kame and not some weepy girl (which randomly, is also an irritating thing just because not all girls are weepy anyways :|) and you really showed the way that he was coping with it amazingly - the uncertainty and lost feelings, then the confident exterior that Kame's kind of playing with this new role and having fun with messing with people in his pervy way, but how underneath that he's still not comfortable and not okay with it :(. ANYWAYS. long ramble short, I'm really happy that you're satisfied with your bb, especially since you were so :/ after finishing Baby Got Back.

But basically, tl;dr aside, ILU AND YOUR FICS ARE FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC, AND I'M SO EXCITED TO READ YOUR BB *______* ♥ ♥ ♥

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

ilu :( thank you for always being there when i need an ego boost alskfjdgflhkgj <3 <3 <3

[randomicicle.livejournal.com]

Everytime I hit your journal, I'm afraid I'll just stay lurking around and re-reading stuff. Especially now that someone tweeted about new Child Stars and I have work piled up and I'm still considering whether I should read now or not.

You know, I loved Baby got back. And I think a lot of people did. As a reader, though I can see where all the difficulties were as a writer. Still, I loved the story.. even if it really sounds like writing it was the worst thing ever. thanks for going through that though ♥

And now.. to Oh My Stars.

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

i feel like i should apologise now for having interrupted your work with the intense cheese that was oh my stars asljdfg

i'm really happy that some people liked baby got back, it validates the trauma a bit alskdj thanks for taking the time to comment ♥