"Thank you," Heechul says, flinging his arms around my neck and putting his cowboy hat on my head with an affectionate thump. He is being uncharacteristically pleasant, though in ten minutes he will revert to teasing me and comparing me to a Walrus. "Thank you for introducing me to the love of my life." Ueda beams at him from across the room, crown and sceptre twinkling in the coloured lights. "This other girl tried to tell me about him once, but when I returned her calls her mother said she was too busy on some island with a bunch of lizards. It's okay though, because you saved me, Noona." In the distance, you burst into infuriated tears and your good friend and colleague kills herself.