Jan. 13th, 2011 10:13 pm

I cried a little when I saw this on tv earlier and I wanted to share it with people, I guess. My parents are both Queenslanders originally, so I have family all over the state, including cousins in Ipswich, Brisbane, and Toowoomba. I'm grateful that they are alive and well even if it seems like their lives have been totally turned upside down.

There are people who have lost literally everything and it amazes me to see the humour and generosity that still prevails, even in the midst of the devastation. Every time I see a picture of somebody saving a kangaroo from the water I cry. This is the part of my country of which I can most consistently be proud, even if I spend all my time criticising it about absolutely everything else. When everything goes to shit, we really look after each other.

Queensland will endure, because Queensland always does. This site is open for donations if anybody would like to help. I think when all this is over I'm going to go out and buy my cousin's kids a shitload of toys.

scrolled to the bottom of the fic i was working on and found this. said "oh" in a horrified voice.
"what?" sam asked innocently
then, "put that in ya author's notes"
"isn't it fun writing with [livejournal.com profile] samenashi?"
Sam has already posted about our trip to Japan, so I thought I'd skip all the stories and just show you my haul:
impulse control problems
follow the link to see an annotated version.

I started off with just one program, then developed a serious problem. They weren't expensive, so it wouldn't be that bad, except books are HEAVY and we still had to fly home. I ended up putting almost all the books and magazines in the Dream Boys tote bag and taking it on the plane as carry on. Every time I had to go through security I wondered what it looked like to them - Can they see the inside of the books, or do they just think I'm super studious and carrying my textbooks around with me??

Finding that lamdash pamphlet was one of those moments where it felt like Kame was somewhere behind the scenes orchestrating the best outcome for us... it was our last day before we had to fly home and we'd been walking around trying to find duty free cosmetics. We ended up in the basement of the Shinjuku Yodobashi because it had promised "beauty products" but all we got were hairdryers and electric toothbrushes. So we were standing there feeling kind of angry and talking about what to do next, and then I turned my head and half naked Kame was staring at me from a cardboard cut out. It was kind of a beautiful moment. Sam took an instax photo with him and then kept sticking it in random places and waiting for me to notice it. At one point she put it on the wall of the elevator and had to yank it down quickly when a staff member got into the lift.

impulse control problems

I always buy a heap of doujinshi and then feel sort of deflated when I can't actually understand any of it - it's like in my brain I'll take them home and suddenly magically be able to speak Japanese. It can be really enjoyable reading them and trying to figure out wtf is going on. I lucked out this time and got one where Jin, for some reason, is a bear that looks exactly like Gloomy Bear, and he turns into a human so he and Kame can have sex, and then they have a baby that has little bear ears. And at some point he's trying to get Kame to have more sex with him and he accidentally scratches him with his gloomy claws. Then he goes away and angsts a bit. Meanwhile Kame collapses from exhaustion (???). Then they're a happy family again. The end.

In another I thought it was a straightforward DJ about Kame missing Jin while he was in LA. Then I got halfway through it and realised that it's an AU where Kame is Jin's fan who is distraught about the hiatus (the first hiatus). I realised this because halfway through there is another Kame who is at the press conference upon Jin's return. Fan Kame watches real Jin/Kame on tv. Then he talks a lot to Fan Nakamaru. Then it ends. Pretty illustrations though. At least it didn't turn into hardcore porn.

It was my first time going to the Johnny's Store and even though people had tried to tell me how crazy it was I didn't believe them. You have to go get a ticket from a Johnny's staff member outside the station in Harajuku, and it has a time on it. That time is when you can come back and queue. So you might have to wait an hour before you can even join the queue. Then you stand in queue and lol at all the white people who walk past and look really confused about why there is a random queue of girls but no sign of what they are queueing for. Then another Johnny's staff member leads you through the backstreets, trying to usher you into a more orderly line as you walk. Then you walk into the shop and it is basically just a cramped room covered in shop photos, clusters of girls with pens and paper furiously scribbling down numbers. I didn't think I would have a problem resisting shop photos but once you're in there you get kind of swept up in the moment and inevitably buy more than you intend to. I wouldn't have been able to stop but Sam suddenly took control and was like, "NO. STOP. STOP. WE HAVE TO STOP."

I still managed to spend about $30 though. There are some photos of a handful under the cut - I bought more but I thought I'd just give you the general gist.

shop photos... )

photo dump... they will all seem like shitty counterfeit knock offs of sam's superior product. )
I'm too tired to write a decent entry. Maybe some other time.

Came into my head when I was on the train:

//In this moment, my world is just this carriage, long steel tube. Flourescent lighting. Green blue seats and the guy with the beard. The floor scattered with papers and wrappers. Nomadic world, but we carry our own debris.

The street lights that clash periodically against the black windows are satellites, planets, stars, galaxies far away. The world is just me and the guy with the beard. Just me and the automated voice telling me where I'm supposed to be going.

The world is in motion, but I've never been more bored.//

Happy New Year everybody. It's crazy that it is 2009, I feel like it was only just January. A lot happened this year and at the same time nothing happened. I guess that's true of most years. It seems like every year gets shorter.

ridiculously massive photo dump )

chibi danish chan

I haven't made a post with actual content in a while. This is pretty much because nothing ever happens to me. Life lately consists of work --> sleep --> work --> sleep. I also found time to see Dark Knight and The X Files movie. Everyone is talking about Dark Knight but can we just take a minute to talk about how fucking weird The X Files was? I can't have been the only one that saw it and wondered where all the aliens were. And why Mulder and Scully had to have personal lives.

I went to Little Birdy at the Hi Fi last night. They were awesome, they're always awesome live, but I was so tired and irritable. All the people at shows these days... There was one guy there and I'm almost certain he was cosplaying Spencer Smith. He was with this other guy who had an attitude problem, a face covered in eyeliner and a wrist wrapped in black straps. He was probably supposed to be Ryan Ross, only without the boyish charm. Every single other man in the room looked identical. I get how fashion works to homogenise people but... I don't know, how has fashion made every guy in Melbourne so tall and skinny? And pale. It's like when they go to buy their skinny jeans and t-shirt they get stomach parasites as an added bonus.

That whole paragraph is an example of the fact that I have become a sixty year old woman overnight. I can now say things like, "What the hell is wrong with kids these days??" in all seriousness. My friend told me we were seeing the 9:10pm session of The X Files and I felt slightly hysterical at the thought of how late I'd go to bed.

When I started this post I thought I had stuff to talk about but it is quickly becoming clear that I do not.
It is 11:15pm. It is 31°c. Like some kind of elaborate joke, the weather keeps going up and down up and down and we keep hoping that it has decided to settle at a nice 21°c for a few days and then BAM HAHAHAHA FRY, MOTHERFUCKERS.

The weather is making me a little bit deranged.

I started making this post before realising that I don't really have anything to talk about beyond bitching about the weather. I haven't really been doing much. I've been really dumb lately. Sam keeps saying things to me and I just totally do not understand what she means. She gets so disgusted each and every time. This must be what it is like to be Jin.

I've just started working full time, as opposed to the three days a week I've been working up until now. On the one hand it's really good, but on the other I never realised how totally I do not comprehend normal human life. WHY DO WE SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT WORK, IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. I realise that makes me sound like a princess, but I'm just really confused about when I'm supposed to like, do things. We go to work before most businesses open and leave after they close... every day... When am I supposed to go to the goddamn Post Office. These are the big questions, people.

The other day Melissa and I had this long frustrated conversation about how ridiculous working life is and how we don't really need money that much and how we'd be fine without it. We were sitting at McDonalds. Then this homeless guy came in and bought a cheeseburger with the spare change he'd collected in his hat and I felt like a total asshole. Plus we got up and left a few minutes after he got there and he was like, "I'm not gonna bite" all slurred and practically incomprehensible. BUT WE WEREN'T LEAVING BECAUSE OF HIM, WE'D JUST FINISHED OUR ICECREAM, ALL RIGHT? Plus he smelled bad.

After months of insane boredom I'm finally starting a new job on Monday, as a Permissions Assistant at Cambridge Uni Press, finding images / negotiating to buy the rights for images for high school text books and stuff. It's kind of a relief, it's been a little under a year since I finished uni now, there's only so long I can cloister myself away from the real world without turning into the creepy kind of hermit instead of the nerdy kind. So I'm looking forward to it. HEY SOPHIE, NO USING ME AS AN EXAMPLE OF UNEMPLOYED ARTS STUDENTS NOW HUH. I have eyes and ears everywhere. Live the dream, Shitty, live the dream.

My mother returned from China last Monday with a host of pirated loot for me, including this complete Oz collection that looks more like a board game than a box set, a million other dvds, some S.H.E cds, a pirated copy of Cartoon KAT-TUN II You (she was really disappointed to find out that I already had another, real version, because she thought she'd found one of their cds that I'd have never heard of. Clearly she does not understand the fever of my obsession.) and this cd by some guy that I have begun calling "random old Chinese man". The twenty year old at the record store told her it was a great cd and I would like it. I suspect he was just trying to make a sale, it sounds like the Chinese equivalent of Willie Nelson or Kamahl or something. Probably he is some god of Chinese popular music and one day he will appear as a guest on SMAPxSMAP.

I've been reading a lot lately because I can no longer stand the flickering of my laptop screen (the power jack is busted) for more than twenty minutes or so at a time. When I am online I am obsessive compulsively refreshing Facebook over and over. [livejournal.com profile] foreword sends me like a billion sealions for my aquarium a day.

Today I saw a small child breakdance and it was one of the greatest moments of my life.
I can never think of an unawkward, casual way to begin LJ entries. I guess this is not surprising as I can never think of an unawkward, casual way to begin conversations in RL, either. I am not smooth. It's getting worse the longer I am away from uni, too. I've forgotten how to function as a social entity.

Sam came back from Bendigo for a couple of days so we could go to Phantom of the Opera. We went on Thursday. SO EXCITING OH MY GOD. The Phantom was incredible, he had the most beautiful voice. The next day Sam and I were walking around talking about how we want him to follow us around every day narrating our lives. We were walking down the ramp at the train station singing about buying tickets in low voices. Now my life seems empty without it. THE PHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTOM OF THE OPERA IS HERE........... WHILE YOU BUY YOUR TICKET...

Then yesterday we saw Hairspray so the visit so far has been a musical spectacular. I already want to watch Hairspray again. I'm so glad that musical movies are back in fashion, I love them. When I was a little kid I watched Showboat like a hundred times. I was obsessed with that song... Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, I gotta love one man 'til I die. Can't help lovin' that man of mine... Now Sam and I keep talking about finding musicals to see, us doing a tour of amateur high school productions.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, ALL THE AUSTRALIANS ALREADY KNOW, BUT EVERYONE ELSE SHOULD TOTALLY WATCH SUMMER HEIGHTS HIGH. Sam keeps bursting into bits of song from the show at inappropriate, public times. "She's a slut and she knows it~ Wants to root all the boys!!!" It restores my faith in the Australian television industry. Well, not really but :( It restores my faith that brilliance can come from such adversity.

Today we are seeing Superbad. We have to meet Melissa in a little under two hours, so I should probably like. Shower. Or something.

I had a bunch of photos of my cats that I have never bothered posting. It is going to drive [livejournal.com profile] thewhiteprophet nuts that these are not all the same size, as some were taken on my digital camera and some on my phone. She's just going to have to deal with that.

kittens and presents and beatboxing teenagers )
I am too lazy to write this again in journal form:

okay i was going to save this story for an lj entry but i don't foresee me making one in the near future so i should tell you now before i forget
sam: okay
fitz: yesterday after i went to centrelink i stopped at the newmarket shops to get a drink. outside the newsagents this like, middle aged guy who was african or west indian or something stopped me and asked me where the nearest Westpac bank was.
"I don't know," I said. "I'm not from around here."
then he went into newsagent to ask and the newsagents didn't know, and i bought a drink and when i came out it seemed like he was waiting for me
"You're not from around here?" he said. "Where are you from???"
"North Melbourne," I said. "A couple of suburbs away."
"Ahh! Is there a Westpac there???"
"Maybe... maybe on Errol St, I don't know, sorry..."
"Where do you live in North Melbourne?"
"Near the high rises?"
"No... in the industrial section..."
"My family are all living in North Melbourne," he said. "But I'm staying around here."
"That's nice," I said politely. I was trying to leave. Why am I polite to people.
"What are you doing now?" he asked.
"Meeting a friend for coffee," i said.
"Oh, here?"
at this point i had like, started walking out of the shopping centre
and he was following me
"No," I said. "In the city."
"Ohhh," he said. "Do you want me to take you??"
"I can take you," he said. "In my car."
me: :|:|:|:|:|
"No thank you," I said. "I'd better go."
and then i like, walked away and refused to look back in case he was still following me
sam: . . .
sam: um.
i just.
fitz: I KNOW
sam: update about this.
fitz: dying. in retrospect there's not a lot to say about it, really, except that he's creepy and every time i leave the house i am approached by total weirdos

The other day I was on the way home from a party and a wasted forty year old woman offered me E. I was on the tram and accidentally met her eyes so she came and sat across from me. She had short hair and gold jewellery and gross crayola coloured make up. She told me drunkenly that she was going to The Peel, this ~classy~ gay bar in Collingwood or something. "I have..." she said, and started scrabbling through her bag. "Oh my god I can't find it." Here she looked up at me and murmured, as if revealing a deeply intimate secret, "E."

"Oh no," I replied awkwardly.

"NO NO NO I REMEMBER WHERE IT IS," she said suddenly, and took this blue pill that looked more like Demazin than E out of the coin purse in her wallet. "Do you want some?" she asked.

"No thank you," I said.

She seemed really confused by my polite refusal. "Are you sure?" she kept asking over and over.

Finally I just said, "I can't, I've been drinking."


"It's cool," I said. "I'm tired."

"Oh," she said. Then we both went quiet and she stared at me while I fiddled with my earring. "Sorry," she said after long, awkward moments, and got up and sat across the aisle. THAT LAST APOLOGY WAS WHAT MADE THE ENCOUNTER SERIOUSLY AWKWARD INSTEAD OF JUST A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE A DRUNKEN MORON AT LEAST BE DRUNK ENOUGH THAT YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'VE JUST HUMILIATED YOURSELF.

Then the second I got off the tram this guy grabbed my shoulders and yelled, "YOU'RE GORGEOUS SWEETHEART WHERE ARE YOU GOING??" and then walked off immediately.

These things happen to me all the time, seriously. And I wonder why the world terrifies me. I am sure I have recounted this story in my lj before but I just told it for Sam so I will leave it here as it is inkeeping with my theme:

sam: what's that story
that time when
the homeless woman said she wish you'd get cancer or something
fitz: bawling
i met her one afternoon while i was studying in the food court
and she told me she desperately needed money to get a ticket to geelong or something to go to the hospital
and she was near tears
so i gave her all my money which was like, seven dollars
and she gave me some dishwashing detergent.
and then i was there again the next week
and she came up to me again
and asked to borrow money again
and i was like, "sorry, no. i gave you money last week."
and she was like, "i need money, i have cancer." she started getting really upset and her hands were shaking. "i hope one day you have cancer so you know what it is like."
fitz: and then angrily walked away.
fitz: and then because i was there all the time
i would see her there constantly.
sam: sobbing
fitz: i still do sometimes.

I just. I try to be polite to everyone I really do and yet no-one normal ever speaks to me, it is always weird guys who want me to get in their cars or skeletal old women who want me to have cancer. One day someone normal will approach me and I'll be rude to them thinking they're going to try and abduct me, and then the ghost of christmas past will reveal to me that that person was supposed to be my soul mate.
I just spent like twenty minutes typing up this post and then Opera crashed and I lost all of it. You will never hear my wise words. They were probably really important, too, who knows? Fuck you, Opera.

weddings and suburban life in brisbane. )


A little while ago I started writing this Original fic thing that I was going to submit to a magazine, but I missed the deadline and never finished it. So I'm putting what I have of it here.

1992; A rice cake child. )
sambot: my laptop is cold
sambot: very distressing
annabel: dead
fitz: oh sam.
sambot: :(
fitz: my laptop is chinese.
annabel: i think fitz wins
fitz: "ALL WORK NOW :D"

my computer speak english very good. )

I wanted Sam to do an anon meme.

sambot: so hard
sambot: u do
fitz: u do
fitz: i'll do if u do
sambot: i was abt to say that
annabel: do
sambot: fitz
annabel: both

fourteen bad poems for fourteen people. )

I've had all these photos on my camera since Christmas or longer. I finally found a cooperative XD card reader so my photos are no longer imprisoned on my digital camera. Aja recently claimed she'd never seen photos of Akira before (wtf) so I guess this breakthrough came just in time.

they mostly sleep a lot. )



May 2012

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