taken from [livejournal.com profile] acchikocchi et al

Jan. 9th, 2011 08:42 pm
[personal profile] soundczechfic
The year end writing meme. I don't usually do this kind of thing but I had a lot of feelings about my writing this year and I think I should probably document that so I can go back and look at it next time I am having some kind of meltdown and have convinced myself I can never write again.

the list:

January: Drabble Meme
February: Your New Best Friend
April: Behind The Music
July: Legends
September: Under My Umbrella
October: Baby Got Back
November/December: fic for [livejournal.com profile] jent_bigbang

Total wordcount: 78,180 if I include what I wrote for [livejournal.com profile] jent_bigbang. Otherwise, 41,180. Even that's a pretty huge number by my standards, I just stared at it after calculating it. It's weird because I feel like I barely wrote at all this year, until November.

My favorite story of this year: Hmm. Probably Under My Umbrella or the fic I'm working on at the moment. What a boring answer for a meme.

My best story this year: This is kind of a bad year to ask me that, because I spent a lot of time feeling really dissatisfied with my work. Probably Under My Umbrella, because it was so short that it didn't really have time to corrupt itself in my eyes, lol. I was satisfied with parts of Behind The Music, but then I had to rush through the ending and it kind of hurt the final product.

Story most underappreciated by the universe: I don't really feel that way about any of my stuff, ever, because my flist is so generous with its praise. I don't really have a malnourished little orphan. I have a few fat, bloated problem children, lol.

Most fun story: Your New Best Friend. Or Under My Umbrella. Wow, for a throwaway 650 word fic, Under My Umbrella is really cleaning up here...

Hardest story to write: God, Baby Got Back x 3234359082345809832450982340958239048. Easily the most difficult thing I've ever written in my life. More difficult than killing off Kame in Seachange. It's probably lucky that I'd already signed up for [livejournal.com profile] jent_bigbang, because there was a long moment after I finished Baby Got Back in which I honestly felt like I would never write again, because it so totally obliterated my confidence in myself as a writer. There were a lot of factors. It was a difficult subject for me, because my own ideological beliefs were sometimes in direct opposition to how I felt the characters would behave. Also because the final verdict about Jin's place in KAT-TUN was made while I was writing it and it was hard to write him in that way when I was still all angry and depressed about the whole thing.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: Hmm. My perceptions of the characters have gone on kind of a rollercoaster this year, but I think that is more to do with reality than any one story or another. Legends, I suppose, because it was the medium I used to work through my issues with Jin after he left. It kind of helped to think about things from his perspective.

Biggest disappointment: God, Baby Got Back, again. A lot of the time when a piece is really difficult it's okay in the end because you look at it and feel like you've achieved something, but I didn't really feel that way with Baby Got Back. I didn't quite feel like I got where I wanted to go. I don't know if it is in me to be that serious and, idk, ideological in my writing. I spoke to Sam after she read it and she was like, I could tell just from reading it that you really hated writing it. I was really happy that other people enjoyed it because every time I look at it all I can see is my stress over it. I cried the night I posted it, lol #embarrassingconfessions. I am not usually much of a crier. It's weird because the whole point of fic for me is that it's supposed to be fun. I usually write the sort of fic that I want to read, aka cheesy sentimentalism. I don't want to write things that aren't fun for me.

Biggest surprise: My big bang fic getting as long and involved as it has. And like, sort of enjoying myself as I wrote it and feeling satisfied with parts of it, even if I'm not sure I'm satisfied with the entirety of it yet (I'm still working on it).

Most unintentionally telling story: Again, Baby Got Back. I was feeling kind of messed up about gender politics because of some stuff that went on at work for me early this year, and it really came out in the fic even though it should have just been this cheesy fic about Jin groping Kame's boobs.

Sexiest story: LOL, I don't really write what I would call sexy stories. I guess Baby Got Back in that it had really gross soft porn moments.

Something I realized while filling out this meme: That I wrote a lot more than I thought I did this year. And that it doesn't matter if I write something I don't like, it doesn't mean I'm dead inside and can never write again, or something. So harden the fuck up, fitz.
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